


Lady Marmalade or what?

by violentcheese



Series: Prompts [3]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Eggsy speaks many languages, Eggsy stands up for himself, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, French, Lamorak is a dick, M/M, Merlin is proud, Merwin, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violentcheese/pseuds/violentcheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aceunwins on tumblr asked for one of the other agents talking about Eggsy in a different language only for Eggsy to turn around and stun them by responding fluently in that language. Here is that fic! </p><p>I've gone with French, as I've studied it for the past six years. Amusez-vous bien! </p><p>Translations in the end notes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady Marmalade or what?

**Author's Note:**

> I've gone with French as my actual second language, Irish, is not well known enough (or used enough!). Maybe I'll do one where Merlin speaks the auld Gaelic.. 
> 
> If there are any mistakes, send me a message!

"Ce n'est pas naturel! Il n'est qu'un voyou, un casseur, Merlin. Il a raté l'examen dernier, pourquoi est-il ici? Je ne l'aime pas! Ce.. mec ne serait pas à Kingsman. Certainement, je ne crois qu'il pourrait ajouter deux et deux, sans mentionner ses _vêtements_!" Lamorak's having a moan to Merlin about Eggsy. It seems that prejudice in Kingsman hadn't died off with Chester. Merlin's sick of listening to the old bigot prattling on and _on_ and is just about to open his mouth (or deck the bastard for insulting his partner, he isn't sure yet) when the subject himself beats him to it. 

"Ah, désolé Lamorak! Je ne savais pas que vous aviez un problème avec moi! Seriously, mate, for a super secret spy you're shit at watching your peripherals," the young Londoner passes from behind Lamorak to perch on Merlin's desk. "But honestly, I'm not surprised. Kinda hard to check when you're so old your neck don't move that way no more, eh?"

Lamorak's mouth has dropped at Eggsy's **flawless** French, the consonants rolling almost musically off his usually-rough tongue. He looks as cool as a cucumber but Merlin can see how Eggsy's fist is clenching tightly at the small of his back. The words must have hit a nerve, unsurprisingly. To be called a thug, a petty thief meant nothing when it came from his mates, from Dean. From a fellow Kingsman? As Merlin understood it from several late-night talks over a bottle of the good Scotch, those comments cut their young Gawain deepest. 

"M'supposed to feel safe there. Welcome," he'd muttered one night, face smushed against Merlin's shoulder. "S'not all of 'em. Just a few, y'know? But s'enough... _Fuck_." Eggsy dashing for the loo to puke had cut that chat short.

Another night it was a soft "I'm just as good as them, ain't I? I ain't that chav they fink I am. I mean, I were- but m'not now. M'better than that. Right?" while he made paws with the cuffs of his Addidas jacket and stared at the floor, hunched over. That one broke Merlin's heart (and led to their first night together, when Merlin has kissed Eggsy hard enough to convince him he was _better_ than those bastards). And it's precisely the reason why he relaxes in his chair for a moment, to bask in Lamorak's discomfort. 

"Merlin! He has no place saying such things to a senior agent," Lamorak tries, turning his wide eyes on their temporary leader. "He should be disciplined." Merlin shrugs lazily. 

Eggsy scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Right, I can't make one crack at you bein' a wrinkly old fart, but you can say all that shit 'bout me? I failed the dog test, yeah, but I saved the fucking world instead. Where the fuck was you? Probably stuck on some stairs winded an' all, tryin' to run up them to save your hemmorhoid wipes." Eggsy stands and grins in anticipation. He hunches his back and pretends to hobble. He affects his Received Pronunciation, imitating Lamorak's crisp syllables. 

"Oh deary me, my hip's gone again! How ever will I assist Kingsman in taking down Valentine? Perhaps I'll pop a few Viagra, that should keep me upright!"

Merlin's smirking proudly. A rare sight to behold these days, after V-day. Taking over the dual role of Arthur and Merlin in the months following V-day has left him exhausted and worn out. Unfortunately, he lacks the energy these days for laughter- and that's what's filling the room now, he realises. His laughter. Great, booming gasps of the good stuff, bouncing back from wall to wall as he hunches over his stomach, pressing against the muscles of his stomach as if to keep the bellyache from such joy at bay. Eggsy throws a wink at him over his shoulder before turning back to Lamorak and raising an unimpressed eyebrow. 

"Je suis un connard, eh? Pour quelle raison exactement? Go on, then. What else have you to say 'bout me?" Eggsy goads, crossing his arms. Lamorak looks stricken, surprised by Merlin's laughter and Eggsy's mocking. 

"'mon, bruv. What's got your knickers in such a twist? Is it my 'manque de raffinement'? I think I'm plenty refined, non Merlin?" 

"Aye, lad. You're certainly something special, unlike _you_. Classism was Chester's thing, Lamorak. You'd do well to remember that slander isn't tolerated. You'll have plenty of time to mull all of that over while you're under deep cover in Texas, though, won't you?" Merlin smiles blandly, blinking innocently. Lamorak _hates_ long missions with a passion and everyone knows it. Eggsy covers his snort with his hand, dropping it as Lamorak storms out. 

He finally turns to face his mentor, a beaming smile lighting up his face. "Cheers, Aodhán, you're a star," he shoots finger guns at Merlin. "Prick. Why do they always forget I speak the same languages they do? We all did the same training, more or less." 

Merlin stands, stretches. Lifts his glasses and rubs at the bridge of his nose. Stifles a yawn and offers up a small smile, reeling Eggsy in for a hug. 

"Ignore them, _petit_ ," He sighs, rubbing the tension from Eggsy's back with his broad hands. "Especially ignore what Lamorak said about you. That arsehole wouldn't know class even if it hung around him like flies around shite." Eggsy winds his arms around Merlin's waist and hums his agreement. 

"He can get fucked n'anyway, he'll be brown bread soon the way he's goin'," Eggsy teases, tilting his jaw up in a silent ask for a kiss. Merlin pecks his cheek softly, then his lips. 

"Exactly. Six feet under, and what good will his 'refinement' do then? While you'll still be running about making a nuisance of yourself in the best way." Merlin busies himself with dotting Eggsy's face with tiny butterfly kisses that leaves the younger man blushing cherry red and feeling so fucking _loved_. He's almost forgotten Lamorak's words and is already moved on to other trains of thought. Involving his certain amour, and a bed.

"Merlin?"

"Hmm?"

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?"

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, violentcheese on tumblr! Kudos, comment, flail wildly at your screen if the mood strikes- it's up to you. Cheers! :) 
> 
> Translations:
> 
>  **Ce n'est pas naturel! Il n'est qu'un voyou, un casseur, Merlin. Il a raté l'examen dernier, pourquoi est-il ici? Je ne l'aime pas! Ce ..mec ne serait pas à Kingsman. Certainement, je ne crois qu'il pourrait ajouter deux et deux, sans mentionner ses _vêtements_! ** \- It's not natural! He's just a thug, a petty thief, Merlin. He failed his last exam, why is he even here? I don't like it. This.. bloke shouldn't be at Kingsman. Really, I don't believe he could add two and two, never mind his clothes!
> 
>  **Ah, désolé Lamorak! Je ne savais pas que vous aviez un problème avec moi** \- Ah, sorry, Lamorak. I hadn't known that you had a problem with me!
> 
>  **Je suis un connard, eh? Pour quelle raison exactement?** \- I'm an ass, eh? For what reason exactly?
> 
>  **manque de raffinement** \- Lack of refinement
> 
> And how could I resist?
> 
>  
> 
> **Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? **\- Would you like to sleep with me tonight? (I'm aware of the difference between vous and tu, before anyone comments! Eggsy's quoting the song, otherwise he and Merlin are firmly on 'tu' terms.)****


End file.
